Penny for Life Thoughts – Chronic Courage

Who I am

Wind-blown mane and salt-kissed lips

Spontaneous. Capable. Fierce.

Glacial

yet ablaze;

Coconut wax and clinking halyards,

Old soul

young spirit;

Pulse beats strong with the waves

breath with the swell

in flux with the tides

under the changing moon.

Red-tipped nose and pink-nipped cheeks

Branches weighed by perfect white.

Present. Adventurous. Self-aware.

A peak in the clouds

the whole world below,

one small piece

a planetary puzzle.

Fresh flakes turn liquid as lashes brush skin;

Clouds billow forth

from whispered words

in the early dawn light.

A little lost, a little found

not always right but always true.

Laugh easy

feel hard;

Bare. Naked. Alone.

Fiery. Alive. Together.

Wholly imperfect, imperfectly whole

Emerging from the heart

word

after

word.

Out There

I climb

Each step higher a step wiser

Golden hills glint flaxen

A wispy hand in the clouds reaches down

to brush the cheek of a proud green peak

My path is carved by trunks

solid and peaceful

old souls cocooned in bark

Wind roars

like the fire in my soul

flames fed by an untouched world

Out there I am infinitely small.

I frolick

Rainbow droplet spray off my worn rubber boots

I turn wild with the flowers grown thick wherever they wish to take root

Movements light

Smile easy

A turn onto a dirt road

Gravel scatters in the wake of adventure

Spontaneity a loved one

as the future unfurls it’s wings and takes flight before me

Out there joy seeks me out.

I fly

Twin arcs slice

angles calculated

hip reaching to kiss the snow

Load and release

a zing forward

a burst of speed

pure unbridled adrenaline flows

Board slices through water

cutting sharp lines

A shadow

one with nature

flirts with the depths

A whole world watching from below

Controlled breath

racing heart

a craving to find more

dig deeper

push harder

faster

farther

Innovation the new game

Out there I strive for my best.

I amble

Journey eclipses destination

Each moment unique

individual

worthy of attention

A keen eye catches details

an open heart captures them

A search with no goal

A path with no end

An idea with no expectations

Relishing time that cannot be re-spent

Here

Now

Out there I simply exist.

I laugh

Each second a gift

I choose to elevate

not deteriorate

A twinkle of the eye

more brilliant than the sun itself

A crinkle of authenticity pulls reciprocation from strangers

A beam of light

shining

heals the world one smiling face at a time

Out there I am free.

I rest

Laying under the stars

Mother Earth runs her fingers through my hair

The sky winks

painting a picture of the millennia

A story playing out before my eyes

close enough to touch

yet infinitely far away

A snapshot in time

Pulse slows

Out there I am at peace.

I dream

Smile playing on lips

as I imagine

infinite possibilities

wide open for those who chose

Chose to defy

Chose to let go

Chose to be brave

Anywhere

Anything

Forever searching for the next adventure

Ambition revving

like the engine of an old truck

Heart racing at the mere thought

of adventuring once more

Out there is where you will find me.

The Power of Vulnerability: This is Me

First Post

We are a combination of what we define ourselves as and what the world sees us as. In our world today, young people tend to put a lot more value on crafting a persona the world will fall in love with instead of prioritizing self-worth and acceptance.

However, both sides of my claim hold equal importance. How we define ourselves holds just as much weight as how we present ourselves to the world.

A photograph of the author looking out a window as a metaphor for being stuck behind the glass of who we really are.

“How we define ourselves holds just as much weight as how we present ourselves to the world.”

For me, the world always saw me as the person I aspired to be. I was driven, hard-working, talented, athletic, quick-witted. I was the “perfect” student, the “perfect” friend, the “perfect” daughter. I was a role model.

But being “perfect” is not sustainable. Something has to give. For me, it was my health: a “mild” concussion I never healed from, and an ever-growing list of chronic illness symptoms.

And yet I fought to maintain the persona I worked so hard to create. I kept pushing my mind and body harder, faster, farther, and eventually, it couldn’t sustain itself anymore. While the world may still have seen me as the overachiever and perfectionist, I defined myself by injury, pain, fear, and loss.

A pencil drawing of a girl with a split face between how she portrays herself to the world and the sickness she feels on the inside.

“While the world may still have seen me as the overachiever and perfectionist, I defined myself by injury, pain, fear, and loss.”

Over time, I came to see that the way I defined myself was not fact, and the way the world saw me wasn’t entirely true either. I am not defined by the pain I endure or the loss I grieve. They are a valid part of my experience, but I choose to define myself by the gifts they have given me: the grit, the perseverance, the strength.

These characteristics were hidden from the world when I chose to hide my story. The more I go through, the more I feel ready to share my experience. I am ready to show the world the full picture of who I am.

At times, it may make me feel weak to share the more vulnerable parts of myself, but that is just the human in me. We are all scared of being accepted when we show who we truly are. I hope that by sharing my vulnerability, I will encourage others to share their most open, honest selves, and show that we all have a voice to be heard.

I am still driven, hard-working, talented, athletic, and quick-witted. But I am also so much more.

I get back up no matter how many times the world knocks me down.

I am a warrior.

I am learning.

I am strong.

I am chronically courageous.